Do you believe there’s something inherently wrong with you and have difficulty trusting yourself?
Have you found yourself at odds with your natural identity because of teachings you were raised with?
Are you doubting your beliefs but afraid to voice them?
Have religious beliefs hindered your ability to enjoy your body and intimacy?
Perhaps you want to leave your religious community, but fear the ripple effects it might have. Or maybe you’ve already left, but the grief from the loss of what it once meant to you feels overwhelming.
The impacts of religious and spiritual trauma can be profound and long-lasting. Many survivors experience anxiety, depression, PTSD, shame, grief, and a deep sense of betrayal. Healing from this trauma and rebuilding a healthy relationship with your spirituality and yourself may feel impossible.
But with the right support, you can rediscover who you really are, reconnect with your core self, and explore what healthy spirituality (if any) looks like for you.
The truth is, the academic and clinical communities are only just beginning to acknowledge how harmful religion and certain spiritual beliefs can be to an individual and society at large.
Many survivors feel it is wrong to love themselves—flaws and all—because they’ve been taught that self-love is prideful or sinful. And while religion and spirituality have traditionally been seen as positive forces, the harm they cause can be deeply acute.
Religious trauma and spiritual abuse occur when a person’s beliefs, practices, or community cause significant psychological, emotional, or physical harm. This can happen in many ways, including:
Being shamed, controlled, or isolated by a religious group
Experiencing physical, sexual, or emotional abuse in the name of religion
Having your doubts or questions dismissed or punished
Being taught harmful beliefs like eternal damnation or inherent sinfulness
Facing rejection from your family or community for leaving your faith
Healing from religious or spiritual trauma can feel isolating. Unlike other struggles, the pain of religious abuse often comes from the very system that is meant to support you. As a result, it can leave you feeling alone, confused, and unsupported.
Furthermore, not all therapists are well-versed in this type of trauma, and some might not understand how best to support you.
The good news is that healing is possible. With the guidance of a compassionate therapist who specializes in religious trauma, you can begin to recover and reclaim your sense of self. Much like a lotus flower, the muddy waters of your wounds can be fertile ground for transformation.
You might be wondering: Can I really be helped, and how do I know?
I understand your hesitation. I’ve been where you are. I know what it’s like to be hurt by the very people and beliefs that were supposed to love, protect, and support you. I understand the confusion and agony of questioning everything you’ve been taught and the often dark, lonely experience of stepping away to find your truth.
It was tough. It was full of pain, anxiety, and confusion. But, as difficult as it was, I would never take that journey back. I just wish I had someone with the right knowledge and experience to walk with me through it.
In addition to my personal experience, I’ve sought certification in religious trauma studies, as well as current research and memoirs from individuals across various faiths. What I’ve learned is that the complexity of this trauma requires a nuanced approach, using a blend of therapeutic methods to support healing.
In our work together, I will draw from several evidence-based therapeutic approaches, including:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): To address PTSD symptoms and negative thought patterns
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): To help you reconnect with your core values
Narrative Therapy: To rewrite the stories that have held you back
Internal Family Systems (IFS): To help you manage the different parts of you, including the conflicting beliefs and emotions
Somatic Therapy: To release trauma stored in the body and restore a healthy connection with yourself
In a safe, non-judgmental environment, we will work together to:
Process your pain, fears, and questions
Understand the different parts of you that may feel conflicted
Help you feel safe and connected to your body
Practice radical self-love, acceptance, and compassion
You’ll decide what aspects of your religious or spiritual experience are worth keeping because they served you, and which ones you need to leave behind. Whether this means refining your current faith, exploring new spiritual practices, or disconnecting entirely from any belief system, you’ll have the space to figure out what feels right for you.
Remember, you are the leader of our sessions. When you say go, we go. When you say stop, we stop.
The most damaging thing religion or spirituality can do is make you believe that you cannot trust yourself, listen to your own needs, or set healthy boundaries. Instead of teaching you how to think (which empowers), it often teaches you what to think (which disempowers). In our work together, you’ll learn how to reclaim trust in yourself and take back your power.
It’s time to get empowered.
What if I don’t know if I have religious trauma – can I still seek treatment?
If you’ve experienced ongoing psychological distress from your religious or spiritual beliefs, you don’t need to worry about labeling it. The fact that you’re seeking help already says a lot.
What if she tries to sway me toward or away from a religious/spiritual path?
That will NEVER happen. My job is not to tell you what to do or what to believe. It’s to help you understand your experience, process the pain, and explore your options. Together, we’ll look at your past, present, and evolving beliefs to help you decide how you want to move forward.
What if I’m not ready to leave it all behind?
You don’t have to. Some people move on quickly, while others take their time. You’re in control. We’ll give you as much time as you need to process, weigh your options, and come to your own conclusions about what feels right. Healing takes time, and it’s okay to go at your own pace.
The decision to seek help is a brave one, and I commend you for your courage. I know how difficult it can be to be vulnerable, especially after experiencing such deep hurt. I don’t take your healing lightly, but I do want you to experience lightness again.
If you’re ready to explore therapy with me, I offer a free 20-minute consultation. I’m here to answer any questions you have and to help you feel comfortable with the process.
"The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage."
Have you ever heard someone respond to a friend’s genuine struggle with phrases like “Everything happens for a reason” or “Just focus on the positive”? While well-intentioned, these responses might actually be examples of spiritual bypassing.
Have you ever felt like the religious beliefs you grew up with don’t quite fit anymore? Maybe you’re starting to question things you once took for granted, or you’re noticing conflicts between your faith and your experiences. If so, you might be going through a process called “deconstruction.”
Religion, like many aspects of life, can be complex. What brings comfort to one person might cause distress for another. The most important thing is to be honest with yourself about how your beliefs affect your well-being and to seek help if you need it. Remember, it’s okay to question, to doubt, and to prioritize your mental health on your spiritual journey.
Fear not, brave parent! With a little humor and a lot of love, we can turn these potentially cringe-worthy conversations into something that won’t scar either of you for life.
Purity culture, with its roots in patriarchal systems, has disadvantaged many. But what about those granted access to the top of the ladder? What about the boys who were forced into a role they wouldn’t have chosen for themselves and never had a chance to truly live?
What about the lost boys?
Imagine growing up in a world where the very core of your identity is seen as impure. Where the love you feel is labeled as wrong before you even understand it. This is the reality for many LGBTQIA individuals raised in purity culture environments
Much like the lotus flower, the muddy waters of our wounds can be fertile ground for transformation.
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