Do you believe there is something inherently wrong with you and struggle trusting yourself?
Have you been at odds with your natural identity because of ideas you’ve been taught?
Are you doubting your beliefs but are afraid to voice them?
Have religious beliefs hindered your ability to enjoy your body and intimacy?
Maybe you want to leave your religious community, but fear all the dominos that might topple over if you do
Maybe you had a good reason(s) to leave your spiritual community, but are filled with grief from the loss of all it meant to you.
The impacts of damaging religious/spiritual experiences can be profound and long-lasting – and those mentioned above are just a few. Many survivors struggle with anxiety, depression, PTSD, shame, grief, and a deep sense of betrayal or loss of meaning. Healing from religious/spiritual trauma and rebuilding a healthy relationship with spirituality and yourself can feel impossible.
But with the help of a therapist who specializes in the area, you can rediscover who you really are, learn how to connect with the essential you, and explore what healthy spirituality (if any) looks like for you.
The truth is, the wider academic and clinical communities are only just beginning to acknowledge and study how harmful religion and certain spiritual beliefs and practices can be to an individual and wider society.
Many feel it is wrong to love themselves – warts and all – because they have been taught that self-love is prideful, sinful. What’s more, religion and spirituality have traditionally been considered positive aspects of people’s lives. But the harm they can cause can be acute.
Religious trauma and spiritual abuse occur when a person’s religious or spiritual beliefs, practices, or community cause them significant psychological, emotional, or physical harm. This can happen in many ways, such as:
Being shamed, controlled, or isolated by a religious group
Experiencing physical, sexual, or emotional abuse in the name of religion
Having your doubts and questions dismissed or punished
Being taught toxic beliefs like eternal damnation or that you are inherently sinful
Facing rejection from your family or community for leaving your faith
Healing from Religious/Spiritual Trauma and High Control Group abuses can be so difficult. Often in life, when we go through something hard, we have a support system around us that doesn’t change – that helps lift us up and reminds us we aren’t alone. But if you’ve experienced religious/spiritual/high control group abuse, this is often not the case because the ‘something hard’ is happening within the system that is supposed to support you and help you feel safe.
Because of this, you can feel very isolated and alone. On top of this, not many therapists or coaches are well versed in this kind of trauma experience and might not know how best to help.
The good news, however, is that with the help of a compassionate and self-connected therapist experienced and educated in this area, you can begin to heal. Much like the lotus flower, the muddy waters of our wounds can be fertile ground for transformation.
You, like so many others suffering from religious/spiritual abuse, may be asking yourself: can she really help me and how do I know?
And you would be right to ask!
The fact of the matter is…I’ve been where you are. I know what it is like to be hurt by the people and beliefs that are supposed to love, protect, and support you. I know what it is like to question everything you’ve been taught and have to engage the often dark and lonely experience of stepping away to find the truth within yourself and your own experience. It was confusing, agonizing, depressing, anxiety-inducing, and muddled up with PTSD and Complex PTSD.
In a word, it sucked.
But I would never take it back. I, sometimes, only wish I had someone to walk with me in my pain who was experienced and educated in the matter as well.
So, in addition to what I’ve learned from my experience, I’ve sought my own education through certification in religious trauma studies, current research, and books/memoirs from all different faiths.
And what I’ve found is that the nuance and complexity of this trauma requires a nuanced and complex treatment approach using a mixture of therapeutic modalities. In our work together, I’ll draw on a variety of evidence-based therapeutic modalities, including:
During our time together, you will have a safe, nonjudgmental environment in which to process all your pain, fears, questions, and unknowns. We will make sense of your experience, explore and understand all the different parts of you that might be fighting to be heard, help you feel safe in – and connected to – your body, and practice radical self-love, acceptance, and compassion.
You will decide what parts of your religious/spiritual experience you want to hold onto because they were good. And you will decide which were only harmful and you need to leave behind. This may look like a refining of the faith system you’ve always belonged to so that is healthier. It may look like exploring other faiths or spiritual practices to discover what resonates with you and aligns with your current, evolving values. Or it may mean a complete disconnection from any religious or spiritual tradition where you can create the meaning you want out of your life that doesn’t involve a belief in anything more.
No matter where you fall on the spectrum and how this may change as healing happens, I am honored to support you along the way.
YOU will be the leader of our sessions. When you say go, we go. When you say stop, we stop.
The most damaging aspect of religion/spirituality is when they make us believe we cannot trust ourselves, listen to our needs, and set our own healthy boundaries. Instead of teaching us how to think (which empowers), they so often teach us what to think (which disempowers).
So, together, you will learn how to take your trust in you back. It’s time to get empowered.
What if I don’t know if I have religious trauma – can I still seek treatment?
If you have continued to experience psychological distress over a religious/spiritual experience or belief, you don’t need to worry about what to call it. There is a reason you’re here wanting to know more. That says enough.
What if she tries to sway me toward or away from a religious/spiritual path?
This will NEVER happen. My job is not to tell you what to do or what to believe. I will help you identify what hurt you, process your feelings, heal your pain, and explore your options. Our time together is about helping you understand your experience, healing the damage that’s been done, examining your past, present, and evolving beliefs and values, and you deciding how you need to move forward.
What if I’m not ready to leave it all behind?
You don’t have to. Some people prefer make decisions quickly, others prefer to take it more slowly. Remember, you are in control. We will give you all the time to need to process, understand, weigh, search your heart, plan, and whatever else you need to do to feel comfortable enough with whatever next steps you decide.
Leaving something that has meant so much to us – for better or for worse – can be heart wrenching. Take heart. And take your time. I’m here for as fast or slow as you need to go. And maybe, you’re one of the ones that chooses to stay as you heal and change, and that’s ok too.
I know the choice to get help is a hard one and I commend you for your search. I’ve been where you are and I know the courage it takes to lay yourself bare in front of someone else, especially when you’ve been hurt so badly. I do not take it lightly. But I do want you to experience lightness again!
If you’re interested in therapy with me, reach out for a free 20 minute consultation. I’d be happy to address any questions or concerns you have and allow you to see how you feel when I’m with you.
"The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage."
Have you ever felt like the religious beliefs you grew up with don’t quite fit anymore? Maybe you’re starting to question things you once took for granted, or you’re noticing conflicts between your faith and your experiences. If so, you might be going through a process called “deconstruction.”
Religion, like many aspects of life, can be complex. What brings comfort to one person might cause distress for another. The most important thing is to be honest with yourself about how your beliefs affect your well-being and to seek help if you need it. Remember, it’s okay to question, to doubt, and to prioritize your mental health on your spiritual journey.
Questioning your experiences or seeking help doesn’t invalidate any positive aspects of your religious background. It’s about finding a path forward that allows you to feel authentic, secure, and at peace with yourself.
In essence, healthy spirituality is a journey of continuous growth and self-discovery. It’s not about reaching a fixed destination but about engaging fully with life’s questions and experiences.
The process often begins with a whisper of doubt, a small crack in the stained-glass window of certainty. Maybe it’s a scientific discovery that contradicts a long-held belief, or perhaps it’s the realization that your god seems to have a surprising fondness for sports team victories but remains oddly silent on global crises. Whatever the catalyst, it’s like finding a loose thread on a sweater—once you start pulling, it’s hard to stop.
Religious trauma isn’t about questioning one’s faith or having a crisis of belief. It’s the emotional bruising that occurs when religion – or those who represent it – inflicts deep psychological wounds.
Much like the lotus flower, the muddy waters of our wounds can be fertile ground for transformation.
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